It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
