Christians are straight up FREAKS
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
