You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
