You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize