Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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