I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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