Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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