**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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