Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
