His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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