If that was your dad, he is hot
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
