I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
