So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
