nut hugger
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
