That's when you crack a 10am beer
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
