When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
