Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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