those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
