Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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