you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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