Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"