I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
