I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
