the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
