I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
