Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
