Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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