How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
