shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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