I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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