She announced her abortion via fbk
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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