You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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