I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
