My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize