it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
