Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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