Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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