I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
