I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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