I hate all girls vehemently.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
