My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
