i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
