I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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