so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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