Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
not ubering you a puppy
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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