Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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