You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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