he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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