omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
i out mim tonsoeep
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