The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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